


Workplace Violation

by madieisanerd



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Blackmail, M/M, Office Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-07 08:13:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17956883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madieisanerd/pseuds/madieisanerd
Summary: He could have excused it as like one of those ‘hey, good job’ pats that fantasy football players would give one another, but that was a full on grope.And yeah, that wasn’t so much of an issue. What’s an ass squeezing between friends? That was what he had thought until Bradson kept acting up.AKA Taako blackmails Brad for sex





	Workplace Violation

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is just a set up cause I needed more time to write that quality smut™

It was an incredibly strange feeling to watch your own, let’s just state the facts, gorgeous body from a few feet lower than usual. It is especially unusual when you watch your own ass get squeezed by a large, green orc hand. Taako smirked slightly, his (technically Merle’s) face quirking up in amusement as he watched Magnus (technically Taako) jump slightly. He could have excused it as like one of those ‘hey, good job’ pats that fantasy football players would give one another, but that was a full on grope. 

And yeah, that wasn’t so much of an issue. What’s an ass squeezing between friends? That was what he had thought until Bradson kept acting up, fucking nearly kissing Magnus (Taako) on the cheek after another round of buffoonery. Brad certainly didn’t have that boldness to make a move before. Maybe because Taako had never made an effort to actually know the guy, but really none of the boys had. Hell, he hadn't even bothered to learn his name before today and it still continued to escape him. 

The bard kept making goo goo eyes at the elf’s body and frankly it was getting kind of annoying that the attention wasn’t technically on him. Was he just doing this cause it was Magnus in there instead? Magnus maybe wasn’t the most gorgeous of the three of them, but he was at least a solid seven out of ten, an eight on a good day. Was Brad just not into humans, so he thought he could get the full package with that Maggie personality and beautiful elf bod? Part of Taako wanted to jump up and tug that shitty ponytail of his and say ‘Hey thug, what the fuck?’ 

But there was dungeon bullshit to deal with, so he tucked away all of that in the back of his mind where he could deal with it later. 

And now that the stupid bonding camp was over and done with, and since there weren’t any relics to recover, Taako had all the time in the world. 

It was about two weeks after The Squeezing that the elf strode into the HR Building, taking note of all of the various posters that had motivational sayings and pictures of kittens hanging from branches. The whole place was really harshing Taako’s vibe, making his skin bristle when he saw a particular offending poster declaring that ‘Teamwork makes the dream work!’ showing off a band of adventurers similar to the Tres Horny Boys with giant smiles on their faces. 

Barf. Why did they need such a large HR Department anyway? And why was it called that? Not even a quarter of the members of the Bureau were human. Damn racists. 

Taako continued to walk through until he saw that familiar ponytail poking out of a room, Brad standing in the doorway of one of their co-workers office. With a small sigh of relief, Taako finally reached out his hand to give it a tug, giving him a satisfyingly loud yelp mid conversation. 

“Hey thug, what the fuck?” Gods it felt good to finally let that out. 

Brad turned around, rubbing at the base of his scalp with a clawed hand. He looked up to give Taako a pained smile. 

“Taako, what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“You’re the guy who I go to for complaints about harassment in the work place and stuff like that right?”

Brads eyes widened. “Of course, y-yes, absolutely.” He turned back to offer a quick apology to the half elf in the cubicle before leading Taako towards his own office. “Please, follow me.” 

Unfortunately there were even more terrible posters plastered along the walls of Brads office, Taako groaning internally at the sight of them. He glanced down at the desk that Brad sat behind, pulling up a few files on his computer as he gestured for Taako to sit down. The desk itself had a variety of chachkis adorning it, as well as photos of a brutish orc family surrounding a younger, much more sheepish looking Brad. 

“So... you wished to speak with me about some trouble that you’ve been having regarding harassment?”

“Yeah,” Taako sat down with a flourish, leaning back in the chair and crossing one leg over the other. “I’ve got a few juicy deets about some particularly unflattering treatment of yours truly.” 

“I’m so sorry to hear that...” The orc responded as he shifted his attention from the computer to face Taako. He met his eyes for only a brief moment before he looked down and began to write down a few little notes on his new clipboard. “May I ask who was the offender?”

“Well, he’s this orc guy. Pretty jacked but he’s not doing a thing with it.” Taako pauses, to watch Brads face shift from concern to embarrassment. “Shame too. He’s got some pretty great arms. Anyways, cha boy has black hair he keeps in this really stupid looking ponytail and glasses. Works in HR. Maybe you’ve seen him around, huh Brad?”

Brad flushed a deeper shade of green with each word, anxiously scribbling down the description before looking back up. “Taako, I’m afraid that there must be a mistake of some kind.” 

“Oh come on, cut the act!” Taako said, stretching out his legs to use Brads desk as a footstool. “You know what happened and I just wanna know if you want this or not?”

“I really don’t kn-“

“Listen Bradson, you can keep up your HR, everyone’s great and I’m the nicest most considerate guy in Faerun shtick all you want, but I saw what I saw. I saw you give me a nice squeeze and a few sideways glances. Felt it the next day too. You had a strong grip on this thing, huh? Pretty sure you left a bruise.” 

“Taako, would you please keep your voice d-“

“I’ll cast Zone of Truth. Don’t think I won’t.”

Yeah, he definitely won’t. He had already used up all his spell slots that day and he didn’t even bother to learn it, but it certainly got Bradson to cooperate. The orc quickly got up from his desk and shut the door, locking the two of them in his office before he stood back over the elf. 

“Please be quiet. I’m sorry about what I did. It was incredibly unprofessional and I wasn’t thinking at all, but listen...” He paused and kneel down, now face to face with the elf. “Taako, please do not tell anyone, especially not the Director about that. I need this job.” 

Taako swiveled his chair so that his legs were now on Brads shoulders, pulling him closer and causing the other to blush a deep green. 

“This is entirely unprofes-“ 

“Hush. Taako has an idea.” 

Brad waited patiently as Taako scooted his chair closer, the orcs chin now resting on a soft, exposed thigh. 

“Now here’s the sitch. You don’t wanna get fired. You wanna take ol' Taako to pound town, and to be frank, the feeling is pretty mutual. So how about we come to a little deal?” Brads eyes flicked up to meet his after gazing lustfully at Taako’s slightly bulging crotch. “You fuck me good and I don’t blab to Cresh bout anything.” 

“You can’t be serious. This goes against so many workplace violations and-“

“And I don’t really care. And I think,” Taako removed his legs from Brads shoulders and leaned in to give him a small poke on the nose, “that you don’t either.” 

The words hung heavy in the air as Brad just stared at the elf before him, a Puckish smirk plastered across his light blue face. “Your move, Bradson.”


End file.
